I'm a 65+ year old man. For some years I've had an issue with Passive Anal Soiling / Leaking - which means that I get a small amount of shit (or sometimes mucus) on my underwear, and I don't know it's happening 99% of the time.
I gather that this is very common in both men and women, and in all age groups. It's not talked about, and Healthcare professionals are ill equipped to help us.
It's never much, but sometimes it goes through onto my trousers and that's not nice for anyone.
It's beyond skid marks a lot the time, and can be quite embarrassing.
I know the reasons. I have a number of small internal haemorrhoids (piles) and I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) which is brought on by stress and anxiety.
I have been told I have 'pretty good' sphincter tone (I suppose that's encouraging!)
I've tried all the diets, I've taken all the fibre, I've been doing the exercises for years. It makes no difference. At all. Zero.
Doctors aren't interested, and it's not 'bad enough' to warrant the continence clinic seeing me.
I've been told to 'get on with it' - so here's my guide if you're in the same situation.
So how do I manage this?
At one point in the past I got (by hook or crook) a prescription for a product called 'Renew Inserts' these are incredibly effective little plugs that go up your back passage with a little lubrication and stay there, preventing leaks, until you shit it out (the next day usually).
Once in correctly - it takes a little practice - you really don't know it's there. Honest.
While I did get 30 on prescription, as they are 'prescription only' - I did get some more on the 'grey market' - so I keep these things for when I really need them. My GP is very reluctant to prescribe them again.
Secondly there are butterfly pads by B-Sure. These fibrous pads sit snuggly between your buttocks, and contain any leak very well - but my, they can be so uncomfortable! They also have a tendency to shift with any amount of exercise.
Next up - for daily use - I'm afraid it's down to feminine sanitary pads.
Stick one in your briefs lads and it'll absorb the leak nicely, as long as there's not too much! They aren't designed for poo but they do!
The fluid is contained in the pad and any solid sits on the surface - it works, just.
The issue comes with the fact that while they stop the mess on your pants, you still get it between your buttocks, which does need cleaning up before it gets itchy and smelly.
Pads are a very good - if rather embarrassing - solution to light leaks and soiling.
You will need to experiment with sizes and absorbency, I find long panty liners just about OK, but 'light flow' sanitary towels are about right for me.
Never get the ones with wings. You will be using them further back than the wings are designed for, and the wings will be an irritant.
The fixing tape on the back of the pad can grab your crack hairs occasionally which is uncomfortable but not painful!
The sensation of wearing a pad is wierd to start with, but the comfort factor is in knowing you won't shit your pants any more.
(Specific bowel incontinence pads are far too bulky and serious overkill for the issue I'm describing here and most require special fixation pants or are designed as adult nappies. No. )
With any type of pad there will be a need for some degree of cleanup. Toilet paper is OK, but often times you need more. Wet wipes are an environmental disaster, and you'll need to carry them around - I suggest using a product called Wype which is a watery gel that goes onto paper, and comes in a small dispenser. It is incredibly effective.
Disposal of pads of any sort isn't really an issue if you remember to take a plastic bag (a sandwich bag sized one) with you for each pad you use. There's nearly always a bin in the loo.
Another route to control - which I'm hesitant to suggest, and only works partially for me, is to take Loperamide to slow down your guts. This might regulate the shit issue, it might not, it certainly doesn't help if I'm passing mucus.
Loperamide is safe for regular use, but do talk to a pharmacist or doctor.
Of course, I'm only considering light soiling, not full on incontinence.
Please do see your doctor first with your concerns, you may have better luck than I ever have.